In these Posts, I have offered ways to manage our Well-Being; how we can thrive in Relationships; be Happy. And encouraged you to engage with me on this journey.
In this final Post, I continue to explore the 5 factors that help us be in a space of peace and openness, actions that enable us to be Aware of what may be blocking actioning our ARRRC, actioning our Well-Being, our Happiness. These are: Is this Story Useful?…How is my Body Going?…What is my Mood?
In Part 1, I suggested Well-Being is how we engage in Relationship with ourselves and others.
In Parts 2 to 5, I discussed our ARRRC, as informing our Well-Being.
In Part 6, I discussed the first two factors to assist us in actioning our ARRRC: I am not Alone…Go Easy on Myself.
In this Post, I discuss
- Is this story useful?
- How is my body going?
- What are my moods and emotions?
WOW, a big topic. So, I will adopt the KISS mantra (see MANAGING OUR WELL-BEING: PART 2, INTRODUCING OUR ARRRC), and be brief, in inverse proportion to the importance of these questions!
In Part 1 (MANAGING OUR WELL-BEING: PART 1, SETTING THE SCENE) I observed how our moods and emotions and body shape our lives. On one level we are all are aware of this. Just Google it. But have we embodied this in our living?
Let’s imagine a story that occurs in many shapes and forms in our lives.
My boss is not the best communicator. After a sleepless night, with all sorts of stories around how my boss thinks pretty poorly of me, I turn up to a performance meeting thinking “this is it”. I tremble with fear and my shoulders are so tight I am ready to explode. I am unaware just how anxious I must look to my boss. Not a good start, and not useful, in my case, for my relationship with Margi as I have been taking this mood home to her for some time.
After hellos, my boss opens with: Hi Bill, I have been very pleased with your performance, really a stand out this year…
My offer for this scenario:
We are not the best communicators, sadly all too often when we are leaders. If we have stories around what our boss (or any other person) may be thinking of us, what if we use our energy to be curious, not to feed our moods. Ask:
- How is this opinion serving me?
- Have I tested my opinion?
- Have I asked my boss? When I do ask: do I before the meeting, observe my mood (am I calm?) and body (is it tense?) … do I walk around the block and breathe deeply … do a 10-minute Headspace meditation, for example…
- Have I shot the breeze with a third party, someone I trust? Just being listened to opens us up to new ways of looking at things?
I could say so much more about how our moods and emotions and body shape our lives. My current mood: I feel a bit anxious in writing less on a topic that I consider the most important of all in this Well-Being series! But this mood does not serve me (nor you my readers) and so I breathe deeply and adopt an old mantra of mine, less is more, and …
… end with a provocation and some questions:
The provocation: how may we become better observers of our moods and emotions and body and how they may be affecting how we show up to ourselves and others. For real that is all we can do, be continual observers and learners!
- Are you living your values? Why do I ask this? In my experience, if we do not live our values, then anxiety likely sits with us.
- Are you going easy on yourself? I discussed this in Part 6 (MANAGING OUR WELL-BEING: PART 6, WE ARE NOT ALONE AND GO EASY ON OURSELVES). Why do I ask this here? In my experience, we all too often feel compelled to be diagnosed with a cause and find a cure, and let ourselves be gripped by anxiety if we are not “cured”. As I noted in Part 6, I’ve been around long enough to know none of us are exempt from what Hamlet called the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Let’s go easy on ourselves when we get down. Be curious. Ask what can I learn from this rather than how can I be cured of this embarrassing thing. And most importantly, know you are not alone, and let courage sit with you and MAKE A REQUEST FOR SUPPORT.
- Are you doing Solvitur Ambulando (it is solved by walking): Walk in nature, in art galleries, anywhere where you can drift.
This completes, for now, my series of Blogs on “Well-Being”. I have enjoyed sharing my stories with you. I am sure I will come back to this topic as it goes to the very essence of our being.
I look forward to our next engagement. Transition, Leadership, Being a Father in LAW, are buzzing around in my head.
Until then, take care of yourself, your loved ones and your work teams.
Have A Question?
ARC Coaching, Mentoring & Facilitation is all about generating possibilities through conversations. Happy to chat at any time. Contact Bill Ash at firstname.lastname@example.org